How to Wake The Dead
Jesus Christ, in the New Testament, commands Christians to raise the dead. Jesus first showed St. John and St. Peter how to raise the dead, but it soon became common place. Here are four ways I have invented to wake the dead, and I recommend that you use them.
For those with Faith
For those with faith to heal I recommend that one simply pushes the eyes firmly until you see changing patterns in front of your eyes. You then force this built up energy into the hand of the deceased and call their name (if you know it) to wake them. I have used this method on both Christians, and Jews. Christians are found to have been talking to Jesus, and keep what is said a secret. Jews talk to Prophets, again they keep secret what is said.
7th Heaven
Several people over the years have asked if they could pray for me, and then proceed to think about my head area in their prayer. All this does is cause a few false visions. More popular still is praying against someone, which leaves a feeling of depression which leaves as soon as the praying stops. (This led to me inventing humming hymns in order to fight depression.
I have developed a way of praying that involves praying for the whole body. After permission to pray is given, you imagine coming up through the feet of the person and up into their whole body in faith. The effect is at first laughter, and then on to an angelic plain. Here the person being prayed for can ask the Angels for a state of grace to overcome what has been troubling them. A feeling of elation is left after the event. A cancer cure can be asked for at this time.
It is possible to form a ring of Christians, all of whom pray for the person to their right. In this way all of them can reach the Heavens, not in body, but in spirit, and the feeling of elation gives new meaning to our faith. This is best used if the deceased has multiple heath problems.
For those with no Faith (and Low Tech Relationship Enhancer)
Love Potion Number 10 is a packet of oxytocin tablets crushed up and added with water, or mixed with water in a liquidiser. It can then be poured into a Perfume dispenser. Oxytocin is colourless and odourless and makes you and your partner fall in love again. Preliminary tests have shown that it enhances emotional relationships, as couples feel that they love each other as much as when they first got into their relationship, a sample was sent to the Charity ‘Relate’ in the UK for further study. If you want to enhance or even save a relationship, make yourself some Love Potion Number 10 this year. The Love Potion also helps make you more attractive to other people.
Positive medical use has been found for Love Potion Number 10 in reviving the unconscious, and stopping heart attacks in mid-stride. And of course, waking the dead.
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For those with little Faith who do not have any Love Potion Number 10
For years medical science has been attempting to bring people back from death. As long as people are only dead for a few minutes and skilled staff get to the scene on time defibrillators, adrenaline, and vasopressin are commonly used. A low tech and superior alternative is available in the Kadir-Buxton Jump Start (formerly Buxton Jump Start). Visitors to Royal grounds in the UK will find that they have found a great place to die. Staff members have been using this method of resuscitation for decades, and I have personally resuscitated someone after twenty six minutes, which is far longer than conventional medical methods. Yes, this method does have its limits, and an attempt to use it on someone who had been dead for three and a half hours was a failure, but practically everyone is less than twenty six minutes away from trained medical staff, in the UK at least.
The Kadir-Buxton Jump Start is so called because when it is used on a patient the patient immediately sits up with a start.
The method is easy to learn and use.
First, it must be ascertained that the heart of the patient has stopped beating.
Next, the edge of the shoe, or bare, foot must be brought down hard on the chest just above the heart.(Ribs can be broken with this method) The pain is so intense that it reaches parts of the brain which have not fully shut down, and this revives the patient.
Finally, the patient should be taken to hospital as soon as possible as there is a reason for them dying in the first place, which should be treated.
Six months after I first invented the Kadir-Buxton Jump Start an alternative treatment came along. Although it was inferior it was taken up by the Medical Profession because it had more money invested in it, the 'invisible hand' of the market led the medical profession up a blind alley, but I am sure that a Doctor near you would be interested in hearing of my invention.
People have asked me where I got the idea for the Kadir-Buxton Jump Start. It came from watching a TV programme on UK television years ago that pointed out the fact that dead US soldiers from the Vietnam war were flown home in cheap coffins. When the coffins were flown home they were put into nice coffins for burial. Approximately a third of the cheap coffins showed signs that there had been a struggle by the 'dead' soldier to get out of the coffin. Finger nail scratch marks on the coffins and bits of wood under the broken finger nails, amongst other things, testified to this. This was in spite of all known test to ascertain death had been done on the soldiers.
I thought about this one day and felt that although the brain had died, it was only half of all nerve cells in the body. The other half were in the nervous system. I knew also that although it took two seconds for the brain to receive a message to say that a hand, say, had been injured the hand almost immediately moved away from the source of the pain. This must be due to the nerve cells in the body. The brain would kick in after two seconds to make sure that the hand did not go back to what had caused the pain in the first place.
From this I hypothesised that what had woken up the dead brains was the still live nervous system, which, not being as complex as the brain was harder to be damaged by death.
Further hypothesising that what woke up the brain from death was the inordinate amount of pain that the nervous system was feeling I conjectured that if enough pain was inflicted on the nervous system then the brain would wake up, and any martial artist will tell you that a one finger punch directly underneath the sternum protecting the heart is extremely painful.
All I then had to do was wait until I came across a dead body, and the rest is history.
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